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“So, Paddy, what’s the matter?” asked the doc.“Well it’s like this, I’ve got 9 kids already and I don’t need the wife pregnant again. What’ll I do, I got enough.”“I can put your wife on the pill” the doc says.“The what.”“You know, the contraceptive pill. But you must wear a rubber for a month till she becomes protected”“A what? A rubber what?”“You obviously haven’t a clue what I’m on about, here duck into this alley, I happen to have on one means I’ll show you how to wear it. And remember, don’t take it off.”So the doc gets him to drop his dacks, then proceeds to put a Durex rubber on for him, then sends him on his way.Some months later, the doctor sees Paddy coming towards him, “good day, Paddy, how things.”Paddy charges up and belts the doc on the nose, “you and your bloody contra-whatever’s and flaming rubber whatsits, the wife’s bloody pregnant again.”“She shouldn’t be, I told you to wear a rubber.”“I did, in fact I’ve still got it on.”“You what! show me.So Paddy drops his dacks,. Colonel Maggie is worried you’re going to take out the CIA agents when they show up.”Banzai laughed and said, “Tell her to send us some real coffee and I will leave them alone.” Then he told me the truth, his voice dripping with hatred, “Jack, I can’t wait for them to get here and torture the fuck out of this bastard.”I laughed and said, “Banzai, I will tell her that. Now I’m going to enjoy my pancakes, sausage and eggs.”Banzai swore, “You son of a...”I hung up the phone on him, looked at Colonel Maggie and said, “Banzai said if you send him some coffee on the next shipment, he won’t kill the CIA agents.”Colonel Maggie complained, “Sgt. Reynolds that’s extortion!”I smiled at her and asked, “How much is it going to cost to send a couple bags of coffee to keep him happy.”She replied, “Almost nothing at all. Hell, I will make sure it’s on the ride with the fucking CIA agents!”I replied, “A very wise move Sir! Banzai can get cantankerous if he doesn’t get his coffee.”I continued to eat.
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